Photo by curlywurlygurly
There is a photo of me fishing with my grandpa,
standing by the water, throwing the rod,
cows eating grass behind us.
There is a photo of me talking to him,
surrounded by my family, smiling,
pictures of past generations on the wall.
There is a photo of me visiting him in the hospital.
He wanted to be in his own bed.
There is not a photo of me saying goodbye to him,
Grandpa lying on a bed,
eyes closed,
trying to sing an old song.
By Ramiro, 12th grade
rainbow (colours enhanced) (Photo credit: Magic Foundry)
I’m not looking for gold at the end of a rainbow
Or leprachauns hiding in my backyard
I’m not looking for a big party
I just want to feel good again
and run and play with my best friend.
By Janet, 2nd grade
Image via Wikipedia
I love music because it clears my mind. When I’m in a good mood, I listen to Indie music on the radio. The first time I ever heard Radio Lollipop (a fully equipped radio station staffed by a team of volunteers at Texas Children’s Hospital) was January 31, 2011. I was in a bed feeling down on the 9th floor. It was just my second day, and I was thinking about home. When the music came on, I listened for a while. Music is a way to daydream for me. Someday I’d like to be a professional cello player. I learned how to play in 5th grade, and I feel in a better place when I play. I had to quit when I got sick, but I want to start again. Writing is another art that I like. I use it to express myself. I don’t share everything I write, but I think it helps me to get it out. I remember I wrote a story once about two kids in an enchanted forest. I don’t get writer’s block usually. The words just flow out and onto the paper. If I could tell people something, I would say that there are lots of ways to express yourself and to go out and find your passion. For me, it is music and writing.
By Jasmine, 10th grade
Image by adwriter via Flickr
Being on the other side of cancer is easier than being in the middle. When you’re in the middle, it’s like being at sea and not knowing where you’re going. Some days were easy, while others were very challenging. The best parts of being sick were seeing all the friendly nurses and doing art and writing songs. The worst parts were losing some friends and seeing my mom in so much pain and not being able to see people I loved. I felt weak and nauseous a lot of the time, but now on the other side, I’ve learned about my self and life. I know kids can get very sick, I know I can get through tough times, I know that prayer works, and I know that my family will always be there for me. So, if you are going through hard times, don’t give up hope. Stay strong.
By Mary Jo, 11
Image via Wikipedia
Before I got sick, I used to play soccer. I liked it because you run a lot, and the exercise feels good. I would play with one of my friends. My favorite position was goalie.
I grew up hearing about soccer. My older brothers play, and I used to go to tournaments.
I like the team Chivas from Guadalajara, Mexico. I’ve seen them play on TV. One day I’d like to meet a player from that team.
Someday I hope I’ll play soccer again. Someday.
By Orlando, 19
WITS remembers Alice Hoffman, a gifted writer and a wonderfully generous young woman who passed away in the spring. Below we have posted a poem she wrote 3 years ago in the WITS program. Rest in peace, Alice, rest in peace.
For another WITS story about Alice, click here.
When I’m in the hospital,
I feel colors going crazy inside me.
I go, “Wa, wa, wa.”
That’s what my picture says,
“Wa, Wa, Wa.”
“Wa, Wa, Wa”
by Xavier, age 4
September 2011 is National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. To raise awareness, Texas Children’s Cancer and Hematology Centers (TCCHC) sponsors an extraordinary event called Making a Mark, the annual art exhibit presented by The Periwinkle Foundation.
The Periwinkle Foundation, which reaches more than 4,000 children every year, provides programs for children, young people, and their families who are challenged by cancer and other life-threatening illnesses. It operates Camp Periwinkle, Camp YOLO, Family Camp, and the Long Term Survivor Program. It also supports the Arts & Creative Writing Program at the hospital, which culminates each year in Making a Mark. Writers in the Schools (WITS) is honored to partner with The Periwinkle Foundation and offer creative writing workshops in the clinic every week.
Every September I look forward to Making A Mark, which features art and creative writing by patients and their siblings. The poems, stories, and visual art make a powerful statement about the healing that the arts can bring to patients and their families affected by cancer and blood disorders. In addition to the framed artwork, there are copies available of The Splendid Review, a publication of creative writing by patients and siblings who worked during the year with a WITS writer.
One aspect I particularly love is the collaborative piece that a professional guest artist, Periwinkle volunteers, and the children create together. Come out and meet Guest Artist Ann Johnson and see the amazing Friendship Fence that she and the children have created. You are invited to Texas Children’s Cancer Center’s Making a Mark® art exhibition on Sunday, September 11, 2011, from 2-4 pm on the Auxiliary Bridge between Texas Children’s Hospital Clinical Care Center and West Tower. Complimentary valet parking will be provided at the Clinical Care Center and the reception is open to the public.
A panel of judges selected blue ribbon pieces of art in three groups they felt most effectively represented Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Past exhibits have been shown in Japan, Washington, D.C., Virginia, North Carolina, and numerous cities throughout the state of Texas. Don’t miss your chance to see this year’s inspirational exhibit presented by The Periwinkle Foundation.
I’m at home. The sun shines brightly in my face. I sit on the back porch by the Sports section of the newspaper which is only saved from blowing away by two scuffed-up, supposed-to-be church shoes. I lean on a box of shoe cleaning materials and wait for my mom to come outside with the shoe polish. I can smell the shoe polish as soon as she comes outside, especially when I open the box.
My grandpa comes out of the house wearing overalls, a crisp checkered shirt, and holding his cane like it is the only thing between the world he knows and his world to come. He sits down on one of the chairs in the patio set and tells me about how he used the shoebox often when he was my age. Every time the wind blows I receive a whiff of Irish Spring soap.
Two days later my grandpa is in the hospital. My family sits down to figure out what to give him just in case he “lets go of the cane.” We finally decide on his favorite dessert—vanilla pound cake. We bake and put our hearts into it. We send it to him in the hospital. The next day we receive a thank you card written by my grandfather’s attending nurse who had to write it for him. He only manages to scrawl a quick signature and an “I U” sign. Five days later my grandpa let go of his cane.
By Jonothon, 7th grade
Photob by anneh632 via Flickr
My soul is like the ocean.
It’s deep.
I wish to wander in the sky.
My life has been sad for the past two years.
Sometimes.
All water is blue
like my Mondays,
but I just need to believe
and love.
By Keyon, 7th grade
Texas Children’s Hospital
When I was six years old, I never would have imagined that I would be sick. I have a kidney disease called Lupus Nephritus, an inflammation of the kidney caused by systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), a disease of the immune system. SLE usually causes harm to the skin, joints, kidneys, and brain. Luckily for me, it did not cause harm to my brain or my skin or joints, but to my kidneys instead. From the time I was six to the age I am now-fifteen-I have taken numerous pills to keep my lupus under control. I have been through chemo-therapy and all kinds of treatments that might help my kidney disease. When everything seems hopeless, I pray and listen to 89.3 KSBJ.
Many songs touch my heart; however, one song is my favorite: “Will Not Be Moved” by Natalie Grant. This song says you may stumble or fall down, but you will not be moved. I can associate with this because this song tells me that I will go through problems, and it will get hard, yet it is up to me to persevere. Without my faith in the Lord and my family on my side, I would not be as strong as I am. When no one is listening, and I am ready to give up, the Lord shows me that He has not forgotten me.
When I was twelve years old, my lupus became out of control, and my kidneys shut down. Now I dialyze three times a week at Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston. In the beginning, I felt like the world was coming to an end. I kept asking myself, what have I done to deserve this? I lost weight, could not keep nutrients down, and was not able to go to school. The doctors thought I would need a feeding tube for nutrients. I was in the hospital for three months. The doctors lost all hope in me, telling my mother that I might not make it. My mother started to pray and put oil on my head. She played gospel music in the room. While listening to the music, I started to have more strength. Later, I was able to keep food down and to gain weight. My labs improved, shocking the doctors, but not my mother and me.
It was a miracle.
I have had countless surgeries. I had a catheter in my chest to do treatments. My sacred body was invaded and painful. With the catheter, I was not able to have a life. The line must not get wet, so when I would bathe myself, I would cover the catheter with shields called Aqua Guards. I did not like it. I have a fistula now, inside my arm. With this, I can do anything. I swim, sweat, and play as I want. I can be normal.
When your kidneys shut down, you are limited to the amount of fluid you can have, and you have to balance your calcium, phosphorus, and potassium. You would think with having to go to school, take my medicine, and do homework that I would have given up, but my song, “Will Not Be Moved,” helps me and motivates me to keep on going.
I must work even harder in school than others, to show that I belong. I try to do work and projects ahead of time since I never know when I am going to be sick. I focus on my courses and study so much. My teachers tell me that they wish they had more students like me who are determined. At school, sometimes I am bullied, but I ignore my peers. I have days where I am sad and happy. I do wish for more friends and to be normal some days. When I am like this, I start to pray and talk to my mother, and she tells me that this too shall past.
Right now, I am on dialysis, but later on I will not be. I will have my kidney transplant, and I will be able to have a normal life. I will be able to go shopping and eat and drink whatever I want whenever I want. Right now, I just have to have faith and know that my time is coming. Just like the song says, I will keep on going and never give up.
By Jasmine, age 13
Jasmine has been working with WITS Writer Melanie Malinowski since age 11. Her essay, “I Will Not Be Moved,” received an Honorable Mention in the Kidney Times.
Happy
Today I feel so happy.
I love candy.
Because.
I don’t know why I’m happy.
Oh, I am happy because
I stuck myself today.
Sometimes, I feel split in half,
like a sunset with beautiful flowers and
a frost with so much horror and death.
But today I feel like dancing,
like the couple in Paris and
playing like a Jack Russell terrier
and eating much too much candy
which the hospital won’t give me.
And I am sipping a cup of tea.
By DeAndrea, age 12
Collage made by the author and published in the anthology, My Hand is So Complicated and My Mind is a Mystery, published by Writers in the Schools and Texas Children’s Hospital
When life is hard,
I cough away negativity.
When everything goes wrong,
I shout for happiness to return.
When I’m struggling,
I whisper to my sister for help.
When I need strength,
I open myself to God.
When the world falls apart,
I sweep the pieces together
and make a new picture.
By Jessica, age 13
[photo by ThankGravity via flickr]
Since I was little, I’ve loved gymnastics. I would practice doing flips and cartwheels at home, even when I was six. I remember once when I was trying to do a flip, I fell on my head. It scared me out of doing it for awhile, but then I got up courage and started doing it again. Even when gymnastics is hard, I love it. It makes me feel free and happy. When I flip, I can feel the wind. It’s a cool feeling.
The problem with gymnastics is that I can’t always do it. I have sickle cell so it prevents me from doing what I love the most. This is really hard. I used to ask my dad if I could do ice skating or ballet, but I couldn’t because of my condition. I remember once in 4th grade I had low blood count and I had to go to the hospital. So, I was expecting a talk from my dad telling me I can’t do activities like gymnastics anymore. When he gave it to me, I felt sad. Whenever I would see gymnasts on TV, I would cry. It’s hard to deal with something like that when you’re so young. My sisters continued to do gymnastics and that would bring a smile to my face. I would learn from what they were doing and practicing. But inside I felt like why couldn’t I be doing that with them?
I have big dreams like going to the Olympics, but my sickle cell is an obstacle. Now it’s up and down because sometimes I can do it and sometimes I can’t. Yesterday was a good day for me. I went to gymnastics and it felt great to be tumbling again. When I turned around I saw my mom smiling and I felt happy. I hope that I can continue gymnastics throughout my life because it always brings joy to me. I will pray to God that he will guide me through this sickle cell and not let me get sick. I want to run, jump, somersault, and flip my way to happiness.
by Mojisola, age 13
photo by Ida-Maria Lehto via flickr
Texas Children’s Cancer Center is full of young authors. I work with them every week through WITS and always leave inspired. The children in outpatient treatment come in to the clinic regularly, so I often get to build a relationship with them. When we are first getting to know each other, many children choose safe, familiar writing topics. They talk about puppy dogs and basketball and trips to the beach. Their words conjure up “normal” lives, which they want to return to as soon as possible.
As time goes on, some children find power in writing more directly about their illnesses—how it feels to be told you have cancer or what happens when kids tease you at school or how you deal with the effects of chemo. Opening up about their sickness takes an incredible amount of courage.
Alice Hoffman, a teenager who is dealing with a recent relapse in her cancer, wrote this song several years ago when she learned that she was cancer-free. It is an A-Z list poem that captures her will to survive. Please join us in sending healing thoughts and love to Alice Hoffman, a longtime participant in WITS. Her song was mixed and recorded by Purple Songs Can Fly, another wonderful project at Texas Children’s Cancer Center.
posted by Marcia Chamberlain, Writers in the Schools
~
Here I Go by Alice Hoffman
A is for Atavan
B is for Bactrim
C is for Codeine
D is for DilaudenE is for Excedrin
F is for Fluoxodine
G is for Groggy
H is HydrocodoneCancer treatment for two years
Radiation, Chemo
Difficult by here I am
I made it, here I goI is for Iodine
J is for Jittery
K is for Kitral
L is for LoratabM is for Marinol
N is for Nexium
O is for “Oh My Gosh”
P is for PrevicidCancer treatment for two years
Radiation, Chemo
Difficult by here I am
I made it, here I goQ is for Queezy
R is for Really Long
S is for Stomache Ache
T is for TremodolU is for Underweight
V is for Verconizol
W is for Weepy
X is for X-RayCancer treatment for two years
Radiation, Chemo
Difficult by here I am
I made it, here I goY is for YoYo moods
Z is for Zofran
Mac & Cheese & drinking Boost
Part of the Med PlanCancer treatment for two years
Radiation, Chemo
Difficult by here I am
I made it
Here I go
Here I go…here I go…
here I go….by Alice Hoffman
[Photo of Alice was taken by Yvonne Feece at the WITS Young Writers Reading in May 2008 at The Menil Collection. The WITS program at Texas Children's is funded by the Periwinkle Foundation.]
