Category Archives: humor

27

Apr. ’12

If

Cat on the Hat

Image by donnjmck via Flickr

If there is a cat on your head

scream

If there is a feather in your spaghetti

laugh

If there are ants in your pants

freak out

If there is love in your heart

pass it on.

By Johana, 4th grade

Click the link (above) to listen to the poem read on KPFT radio by Kathryn Chavez, a 4th grade student at Parker Elementary in Houston.

apad

This poem is featured as part of the 2012 A Poem A Day campaign, a National Poetry Month celebration by Writers in the Schools (WITS) that features a different poem by a WITS student every day during April. Click here to learn more.

Posted by . Categories: Holidays, humor, poetry, student, writers in the schools. Tags: , , , . 1 Comment

22

Feb. ’12

Try It, You’ll Like It

One of our goals at Writers in the Schools is to get kids to LOVE reading and writing. This is easier with some students than others. And for our more reluctant writers, sometimes we have to venture out into their world, allowing them to have fun with their imaginations. For kids who thrive on fare such as Captain Underpants or Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, the challenge of writing a disgusting recipe or yucky menu is met with glee. Would you eat in this bistro?

Gross‐Out Menu

Drinks:
Wormy Water $.50
Maggot Margarita $2
Blueberry Booger Smoothie $1.50
Appetizers:
Moldy Mac‐&‐Cheese $10
Sautéed Spinach in Spit $15
Main Course:
Rubbish Ravioli $20
Mucus Meatloaf $20
Dessert:
Manure Chocolate Mousse $15

By Sasha, 3rd grade

Posted by . Categories: creativity, food, humor, Lesson plan. 2 Comments

16

Dec. ’11

Home Sleep Song

door 212

Image by Aunt Owwee via Flickr

Listen now,

Listen to the wind whistling

by the window,

Listen to the TV’s muffled talking

swinging out my mom’s room,

Listen to the water dripping

in the bathroom sink–

how quietly it drips,

Listen,

every now and then the door softly shakes.

How annoying that gets.

By Javon, 3rd grade

Posted by . Categories: humor, poetry, student, writers in the schools. Tags: , , , . Leave a comment

12

Dec. ’11

Good News and Bad News

News

Image via Wikipedia

The good news is that

my mom bought me

new boots,

but the bad news is that

they didn’t fit me.

The good news is that

the sun came out,

but the bad news is that

they didn’t let me go outside.

The good news is that

my dad has

a pretty wallet,

but the bad news is

that he lost the wallet

in the truck.

The good news is that

my mom had a birthday,

but the bad news is that

we didn’t celebrate her

birthday.

By Jennyfer, 1st grade

Posted by . Categories: humor, poetry, student, writers in the schools. Tags: , , . Leave a comment

02

Dec. ’11

A Lady Who Has Big Plans

Do I have to be good? Do I have to be nice? Do I have to eat with a napkin in my lap?Do I have to behave? Do I have to talk with difficult words? Do I have to dress nice? Do I have to walk straight?  Do I have to obey people?  Do I have to sit with my legs closed? “Yes, you need to.”  Why can’t I play like I did when I was a child?  Do I have to wash the clothes? Do I have to prepare my own food? Do I have to clean house? Do I have to go to school? Do I have to learn? Do I have to go to church? Do I have to be a girl that has manners?  ”Yes, mija,you have to if you want people to see you like a lady who has big plans for the future.” Oh, okay, Mom.  I’ll be the lady who has big plans.

By Lesly, 7th grade

Art by Brian Andreas

Posted by . Categories: family, humor, mother, student, writers in the schools. Leave a comment

31

Oct. ’11

Happy Halloween!

Halloween

Picking perfect pumpkins

out of a sea of orange

carving a wicked smile

and lighting it with a candle

The sun is down now

the moon shining white

all my friends dressed up

like the Green Lantern

and Spiderman

Soon we’ll have bags full

of lollipops, gum, and

candy, candy, candy

This holiday is my dream

come true

By Ethan, grade 4

Posted by . Categories: Holidays, humor, poetry, writers in the schools. Tags: , , , . Leave a comment

20

Oct. ’11

It’s October: Say Cheese

Every year my mom drags us to a pumpkin patch so we can get our picture taken.

“Smile!” she tells us.

“Smile better!” she commands.

“We’re not leaving here until I get some good pictures!” she yells.

So, my brother and I show the whites of our teeth and try to look happy about being in a pumpkin patch at 8 AM on Saturday morning in October.

By Leslie, age 9

Posted by . Categories: family, Holidays, Houston, humor, memory, mother, writers in the schools. Tags: , , . Leave a comment

04

Oct. ’11

Awwww, Man!

Simpsons Stickers

Image by tim ellis via Flickr

“Aidan, your mom and I are enrolling you in summer school.”

“Awwww, Man!”

“But you’ll get to have the funnest teacher on the planet!”

“Awesome!”

“Well, at least you’ll get her the last 2 days of the summer–that’s when she gets back from maternity leave.”

“Awwww, Man!”

“But the substitute, Ms. Ruler, gets very strong reviews from the school administration.”

“Awesome!”

“And she only gives 17 pages of homework each night.”

“Awwww, Man!

“Look on the bright side, Aidan.  Summer school won’t  last the whole 3 months.”

“Awesome!”

“You’ll have off one week before 5th grade starts!”

“Awwww, Man!”

By Aidan, 9

Posted by . Categories: humor, story, student. Tags: , , . Leave a comment

03

Oct. ’11

Getting Poetic on the Web 2

Here are some fun poetry games made just for kids:

1) The Funny Poem Machine is a mad-lib type of application. Fill in a short list of questions–crazy adjective, awesome verb, etc. And the machine will give pack a poem guaranteed to make you laugh.

2) The National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE) provides an app to help you create an acrostic poem. There’s even a brainstorming step built into the process.

3) Scholastic Books offers up a free Poetry Idea Engine on their site.

Writing is fun, and these applications might make it even moreso!

Posted by . Categories: creativity, education, humor, poetry, student, writers in the schools, writing prompts. Tags: , , , , . Leave a comment

02

Sep. ’11

Nose

Class 3 Nose

Image via Wikipedia

Way at night when you are asleep

And you are way done counting jumping sheep

Your nose jumps down into your jeep

It drives around, collecting smells

from lights, posts, signs, and bells,

and from rocks and stones and limestone shells

It may get off at Target or the Gap

to lure those smells into its trap

The smells travel through the holes,

like earthworms, like underground moles

to fill the tank up is one of its goals

And when the morning sun rises

the nose goes back with big suprises

It goes back to you in your bunk–

Oh, no!

It brought the smell of a skunk!

by Santiago, 4th grade

Posted by . Categories: humor, poetry, student, writing. Tags: , . 1 Comment

29

Aug. ’11

How To Stay Young Forever

Measuring Spoons

Image via Wikipedia

Ingredients:

2 cups green goop

1 tablespoon squishy mud

1 teaspoon gravel

1 cup of water from a tree

1/2 cup of a man’s red beard

1 squiggle from the sun

1 1/2 cup paper

Instructions:

1.  Go to the beach.  Collect lots of seaweed. Squeeze into a container until you have 2 cups.  (If it’s too much, drink some.)

2. Go to the woods and find dirt.  (If you get too much, feed it to a caterpillar and watch it blow up!)

3.  Find a tree and squeeze the bark to get a cup of water. Put it into the dirt. Mix to make 1 tablespoon of mud.

4.  Go to a graveyard. Brush the gravestones and measure a teaspoon of gravel.

5.  Go to your dad and tell him to grow a beard. If it’s not red, dye it!

6. Get on a flying pony and head for the moon. Take a bite of the moon. Mix it with spit and put it in a water bottle.

7.  Go home and tear up paper to get 1 1/2 cups.  Mix well with the mud and gravel mixtures. Stir in the man’s red beard.

8.  Add the moon and everything else.  Stir thoroughly.

9.  Microwave for 300 years.

10. Mix well and eat.  You’ll stay young forever.

by Lauren, 3rd grade

Posted by . Categories: humor, poem a day, poetry, student, writers in the schools, writing. Tags: , . Leave a comment